wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
