dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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