in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
