thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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