his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
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