she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
