we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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