Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
