my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
