quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
