Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
