My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
