I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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