From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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