they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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