I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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