So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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