you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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