U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
