Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
