is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
