"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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