Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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