So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
