NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
