There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
