I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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