I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i love accidental penises.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize