Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
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All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
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I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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