i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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