But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
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i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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