i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
