You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
