dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
