omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
