I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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