I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's blow job season.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
