he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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