Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
high people should be assigned attendants
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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