i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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