I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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