Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
