Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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