I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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