Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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