Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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