FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
