Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
