i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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