"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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