we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
