ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
