Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
