why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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