The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize