oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize