Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
