I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
