The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
