You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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